Sunday, October 7, 2018
“Getting jiggy with it”.
“Making the beast with two backs.”
“Getting your freak on.”
“Doing the wild thing.”
These are a small sample of some of the slang-lingo terms people used when growing up and describing the act of learning about sex education. I remember there was a time in elementary school that the boys were divided up into one class and the girls were ushered into another room to talk about their periods and we all had a chance to put any questions we wanted into a question jar. “The health talk” or just “the talk” was given by none other than our sixth grade teacher and our gym teacher. I don’t think we even had the same kind of frank and honest talk in junior high because it was more about terms and anatomy and functionality. Basically by then sex education dealt more with reproduction and functional aspects which included terms like genes and blastocysts and meiosis and mitosis. It dealt not about the emotions behind human sexuality and why we do the things we do.
The true thing about school is that you don’t even learn all the different ways that people actually interact with each other and passion. They don’t teach you about dating theory and relationships and when and how to get together and how to build on female and male relationships, which frankly is a major problem. They teach you about the functional aspects but there really isn’t a class about human psychology. I had to learn some of those aspects through dating books such as David DeAngelo’s material and things for guys about game theory from books that included authors with names such as Mystery or dating books created more for the female perspective such as by Leil Lowndes. Society has really evolved and it wasn’t recently until after 2016 when in the U.S. legislation actively recognized LGBT marriage rights and considered them equal although there had definitely been a movement happening that people weren’t always aware of. For instance, online dating was flourishing, Ellen DeGeneres had already “come out”, and Facebook had rainbow overlays you could put on your profile photos to show and voice your support for various sexuality preferences. It became okay to discuss things like this due to openness like Pride Week in our local town and also Will & Grace was changing the way we perceived people, even Modern Family. Even non-mainstream media would pick up articles about a Japanese man who gave birth or of athlete Bruce Jenner turned Caitlin that got people talking. And that’s what is interesting and fascinating about the last 40 years because discussion and openness about what makes us function as human beings is what we need and not shunning and suppression of natural curiosity to allow people to understand what lets us function as human beings and exploration of natural wants. We are starting to embrace that we are sexual beings even when there was a discussion of what was going on in DC and politics in the last 20 or so years we are breaking the mold of what is considered okay to discuss in a public forum and that’s fantastic because this allows us to be more self aware. A lot of education is structuring us to think in a certain way and certain binary fashion but humans aren’t able to be classified into one thing or another. We can be passionate, creative, passionate, dirty, unbridled and raw.
Had it not been for the news and Internet I think people would still be in the dark about sexuality. Even Playboy magazines and the Sears catalogs were often our only sources of sexual education. Thank goodness these days that we have cable internet, YouTube and various online media for adults. These alternate mediums are light years ahead of embracing that we don’t need to be labelled sexual humans but just humans because to hide this part of us is just to deny the whole part of us. To deny one part of our nature is like hiding our ability to cook, forage for food, our creative ability and also powerful destructive natures. We have each have unique identities that don’t necessarily always have an easy classification although apps like OkCupid do try to incorporate this wide range of human diversity in their filtering algorithms.
This particular article doesn’t deal with all the full aspects of human sexuality but we encourage safe, consensual behavior for mature persons to explore an aspect of our lives often shrouded in secrecy and mystery and confusion. There really isn’t anything that is abnormal or weird other than everyone has their own thing that they like to try.
What we do recommend is that you don’t have to be pressured to do or engage in sexual behavior before you are ready and that you don’t need to wait till you’re 40 to get with a partner but you do need to be mentally mature enough to understand that you have to be prepared for things like STD’s, babies, body odors, odd body positions, and the occasional need to talk and maintain a connection with your partner. All kidding aside when you decide to “engage in coitus” or copulate… Or whatever you decide to call it, it’s very good to tell your partner what you like and if you’re not intending to spend the rest of your waking days taking care of offspring then you should wrap it up. Communication is what intercourse is all about and it’s just one way of telling your partner what you enjoy and that you enjoy it with them.
In this article we also happened to order a batch of items for review. Take a look:
Here we have ordered a packet of condoms from CondomDepot.com and as you can see above there are a large assortment of products that you can use to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) because you want to have fun but also be safe. As you can see they come in all shapes and sizes and colors for their branding. Not all men will be the same size and stature just as no two ladies will have the same bra size or same kind of anatomy. And that’s A-OKay! We don’t have to be the same because life would be boring like going to the grocery store you see different size oranges and avocados and fruit. Diversity is a natural part of life’s ecosystem.
Now the site we ordered from recently had a 30 pack of what they called the World’s Best Condoms from 2018 based on reviews and characteristics.
3 – Crown Skinless Skin **
3 – Durex Extra Sensitive
3 – Iron Grip
3 – Beyond Seven
3 – Kimono Select
3 – LifeStyles Skyn
3 – LifeStyles Ultra Thin
3 – Kimono MicroThin
3 – Pleasure Plus
3 – Durex Intsense
2 – Vibrating Johnny Vibrating Condoms
2- Premium Lubricants
Unfortunately one of the orders did not contain three of the Crown condoms from the site so we had to contact the order support via email to try to get that resolved. Crown is one of those products that are often used by the adult industry and considered to be top notch and also they have a latex product that is pink in color. When considering condoms don’t forget to thing about size and shape and material because just because one brand is advertised or popular on TV doesn’t necessarily mean it is the best for you. You might think that you’re a bad lover or partner when it’s simply you’re using the wrong product that’s too thick or not the right size!
Do note that we do NOT get paid for this review nor were we compensated by their store or staff. We are not affiliated in any way with their store. It was supposed to cost $27 for 30 condoms and although the Vibrating Condoms got good reviews from our test subjects we were sad to learn that there were certain items missing from the order. ** Mainly that the Crowns which were rated to be the best condoms and rated highly by adult film stars were notably missing and we were disappointed since this was the first time we ordered from this company. Sad face. 🙁 Here is a photo of our order that you can clearly count only 27 items were included.
We also ordered two types of lube that was recommended on the site but they aren’t by default included in the World’s Best jar. One was Organics. One was Elite. It made our order a little under $45… A bit pricey but we wanted to see if it actually made sex better.
The vibrating rings were actually decent. They were quite strong and had the ability to help a person maintain an erection. There is a flip-switch button on the side and instructions. The top of the pink battery part that is in the middle of the silicone ring has a gel type stimulator that is designed to be pleasurable toward female. It looks like a tiny tongue and little extensions but what is nice is that the device is pleasurable for both parties.
This was a fun article to write. Life doesn’t have to be all business and finance all the time.
Remember to have fun, be safe, and be smart.
Stay young and young at heart.
10/11/2018 Update: We received a package with replacement items to our original order so we’re happy.
Here’s some of the replacement items they sent us. We got a new bundle minus the lubricants we originally ordered but that’s fine by me. At least we got the Crowns that were missing. They are a pink hued condom that’s actually rated pretty well. They are seen here with the Atlases. They shipped us three Crown that were connected and which can be detached at the perforation. The Crowns did get loose near the end of the night but probably from too much lube application. But we checked out later the material and have to admit that the condom is actually pretty thin and amazingly translucent material for what it is.
10/18/2018 Update: There was an interesting article that we came across that could make better condoms
The article which was from The Start Magazine dated 10/17/2018 at 9:56 said that there may be a new self-lubricating condoms coming out that help people adopt condoms to help prevent STD’s and unplanned pregnancies. The article states that rather than using traditional oil or water based condoms that the condoms will self-lubricate and become slippery when it comes in contact with moisture such as bodily fluids.
They ran a small sample size of around 30 people and had opinions that people would be interest in using such condoms.
From most people’s experience, proper lubrication is essential to help in sexual pleasure and prevent condom slippage or breakage.
The condom they tested was a new latex type with hydrophilic polymers which attract water. This will be something interesting to look and watch for.
Here are some tips to help make your sexy night better:
- Make sure you practice rolling on your condom at least one time with a test condom if you’ve never had sex or it’s been a long time. There is a correct way for the condom to be facing and the tip should stick out so that when you roll down it just naturally unwraps. If you have difficulty unwrapping perhaps you put it on wrong.
- Try on different condoms because what might feel like you’re not getting any sensation could be because your condom is too thick or loose and you might actually be bigger or smaller than you think.
- Make sure you’re rather turned on instead of flaccid before you put it on because a condom is made to be put on when you’re erect. And it will fit tighter and better that way.
- Use lube to help make the night right. More people report better sex when lube is used. Even when you’re fully turned on sometimes you need some additional wetness to make sure there’s no chafing. Nothing wrong with a bit of lube to help out. Make sure it is the correct kind of lube though because some are water or oil based possibly which can degrade latex protection.
- Try different speeds or angles to make sure you’re staying aroused and erect.
Some additional house keeping tips:
- Shave down there to make sure your fit is good and not causing your condom to get loose. It also makes getting intimate a bit more personal and reduces odors or hairs getting where you don’t want.
- Make sure to vacuum your home or keep your hair pulled back because hair in places you don’t want can get icky or yucky. Sometimes you might be the one coughing up a fur-ball if you aren’t careful.
- Clean up around the house especially if you have pets or mold and mildew in the shower. Nothing can ruin the mood if you go to the bathroom and there’s grime around the toilet or hair where you want to lay down.
- Try to not use too much cologne or perfume where you might be near lest you ingest it.
- Mouthwash is a great thing, make sure to brush, floss, shower, shave, and freshen or powder up your body beforehand. Nothing says “mood killer” like something that is offensive to the senses and that’s what it is about when you’re in the mood. It’s a palate of sensory experiences. That means no dinner of 3 beans and milk products, no garlic and onions, and no cabbage and potatoes or broccoli. Probably a light meal if any if hanging out because you don’t want unpleasant odors from anywhere you can avoid.
- Be visually appealing. A lot of people don’t understand when dating the idea of putting the best foot forward. The saying “If you can’t accept me at my worst then you sure as **** don’t deserve me at my best doesn’t apply here” because there is always another better fish out there and if you can’t bother to dress up the turkey with the fixings then you’ll have no excuse to wonder why somebody sees you one time and then never again.
- Check the places you normally don’t such as behind you and in between parts of your body. For instance, check behind your ears for any odd hairs or paper stuck to you or growths on your bum because your date or partner will visually inspect you and inevitable come across the spot you didn’t think to check.
- Have fun but be respectful. It’s okay to vocalize what you like or prefer or slow down and tell your partner when something doesn’t feel right or good. An example is telling your partner to lift up their head or change positions or saying something hurts cause you’re pressing on their hair or shoulder or stomach. Be gentle in places. It’s also not cool or right to do something your partner is not confident or certain about. And don’t draw attention or make someone feel shy about any aspect of their body; you wouldn’t want the same done to you. If someone is self conscious about something or reluctant to do something, then slow down and pause and ask if it’s okay to continue or stop if they are giving you a deer in the headlights look. The brain is the biggest erogenous zone and both partners have to feel safe and secure before having sex and being turned on. So if something doesn’t feel right, stop and communicate so you don’t have an argument later. You don’t want any kind of doubt and pleasure should be mutual.
- Know that not all partners are the same. Some might prefer more kissing. Some might having their ears kissed or feet rubbed. Some might enjoy a chest or torso rub but then again some might be indifferent to all of those and prefer to jump right into intercourse. Some might be super sensitive in a spot or not have any sensation whatsoever. Be mindful and engage, calibrate and coordinate your experience because it’s truly about quality communication to enhance the experience to be better for the both of you. Also remember that not all bodies are built the same and some will be taller, shorter, have more curves or be more muscular or “big-boned” and that’s quite all right. Some awkwardness is to be expected and adjustment and experimentation for your partner before you find how well you fit physically as well as emotionally among other aspects.
- Show good manners and at the end and spend a little time just hanging out, maybe playing a game or puzzle or just laying there and talking for a bit just to let your partner know what you liked and what you enjoyed and things you thought about so you get to cool off. Now is not the time to talk about heavy topics or serious topics. Keep it light and just enjoy being in each other’s presence.
You don’t have to be a Don Juan or a Veronica Vixen (just making names up) or whatever you want to call it to be a great lover. You just have to be attentive, eager to please and communicative to your partner. We hope you and your loved one many happy days. And remember to have fun. Toodles.