Monday, April 22, 2019

Woke up a bit tired in the day and drowsy from the weekend. Although coffee does wonders making you excited and stimulated, the first day I drank it on Saturday I was profusely sweating and had to take a sweater off. The next day I drank it, the effects weren’t as pronounced. But I always suspect that it dehydrates or does something to my joints and give me a bit of an arthritic condition because my ankles get stiff and knees and my neck was real sore the other day. Not sure if it’s the coffee doing that when I drink it on weekends, but that Arabica McCafe coffee packet is almost fully consumed. Just a few more cups and then I’m going to start on my final tub of coffee for a while.

Today I had a customer that came in nervous and hurried. They said they were just coming back from an appointment and had been also diagnosed with cancer and had a few months left. And it made me relate in that recently we had a relative have to go through chemo too. It was a sobering experience and compounded with that is when you realize you’re dying but have “things left to take care of” for your offspring, your children and that’s what these two people had to take care of. This person hadn’t been knowingly doing risky things that would cause the type of cancer they had but they still got it. The person looked me in the eye and said a few things to let me know a few pieces of advice that they thought was important:

• If you have something that’s causing you stress or not good, eliminate from your life. If it’s a job or whatever it’s not good and it’s best to get rid of it from your life.
• Be careful of what you eat. The person told me, that sugar especially is something you have to be careful of, and possibly fish also with the chemicals that are sometimes in it.
• You got to do what you can to keep going and keep surviving. Chemo is hard and rough but you do it to help your family let you see you a little longer.

It was not easy trying to think of things to say but the last thing before they left was to not let anyone ever take away the joy that you possess in your life. And I understood, that everyone has their own path and goals in life. You may not understand another’s path and may advise someone on how they should live, but can’t fully judge how that person really wants to live. Live and let live.

There were many things in my own life I struggled with many times and until I realized that I had the choice to be happy and could choose my path I wanted through concrete steps each day toward that goal, I just did the same thing over and over. Everyone has a record player in there head and it either repeats the same thing in your head every day. Either you can feed yourself negativity and have a reinforcing feedback look that says I’m not worthy or not enough. Or you can say enough is enough and I deserve to be happy and deserve to be as happy and rich and fulfilled as the other people are on the planet. And I deserve to be just as smart and educated and can take steps toward reaching that outcome too.

There’s an old anecdote that within us lives two wolves. One represents the harboring of ill-will, selfishness and malcontent. The other is altruistic, selfless, and the manifestation of love and joy. These two wolves are constantly waging ware within our hearts and minds. Which one grows stronger? Which one survives? The answer is the one that you feed and nourish.

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