Sunday, November 9, 2019
The thing lately on my mind is how vulnerable we are. One day you’re going through life trying to build your empire and business and live your life and make it to retirement and another moment you could have something drastically alter your course of your life. Life is unpredictable and sometimes you are at someone else’s mercy. But you almost always have a way to correct or prevent your situation from spiralling down further.
Here’s some examples:
- You know you made your girlfriend mad.
- You get in a car wreck
- You get a letter from your internet company saying you violated something
- You find out one of your relatives tried to hurt themself.
- Someone accuses you of something.
- You get a bad review at work.
- You get a call from the law that your son or daughter did something and you need to go over.
These are just a couple of examples. But you can imagine other scenarios. While we all want to think that everything is smooth sailing and life is all winning all the time and you have no obstacles or roadblocks, sometimes there actually are and if you don’t see that then you’ve failed to prepare and will let them set you back. Life is full of adversity and challenges. Some will make you cry and some will make you mad and some will challenge you to no end and make you wonder why you wake up every day. But if you can’t deal with the bad or the embarrassing or the setbacks every now and then, then you won’t be able to understand the blessing of greatness.
I’m sure we’ve all had divorces of sorts. We’ve had breakups through our lives: first loves, crushes, puppy loves and dreams that didn’t pan out. We’ve all dreamt of fairy tale castles and happily ever afters and rising castles and ocean-front images of the good life. But some have had situations where maybe you were naive and thought your man would change for you and he never did. Or your guy went to war and never came back for you even though you said yes to the ring he put on you. Maybe your girl promised you she would come back for you after college. Or that saying “we’ll always be together”. Life can be hard knocks sometimes. The school of hard knocks.
Maybe you worked so hard for a promotion at your job and someone else passed you buy. Maybe you got laid off or work for a place that never shut down but then some factory strike or massive temporary furlough happened and endangered the food you put on the table and made you wonder if you could make rent or debate whether to just quit your job so you could really make money again rather than wait for a recall. Maybe you got accused of something you didn’t do at work. Or you were unappreciated. Maybe you did great and followed through something for a manager and the manager still gave you a bad review that was due to something someone else did?
Maybe you were trying to save a few bucks online and downloading a movie or song online and accidentally shared something in a folder and now exposed your identity online… Maybe you were dancing funny and someone took a picture of you or you failed to catch a baseball for your kid and you went viral and became a funny meme which you think might be embarrassing.
And maybe you were working and your son or daughter broke a window… or broke into someone’s car… or broke into someone’s home… and you got a call. How would each of those make you feel depending on the situation? Or maybe they broke their hip or neck while skiing.. Or you ran into someone when backing up without looking. And other scary incidences. Just saying and knowing things doesn’t mean you will necessarily speak them into existence or that you will be associated with it. But every action has energy behind it.
The fact is that life is full of things that you can control and can’t fully control. But in life you can handle your business or you can panic. And you can freak out or truck through the situation the best you can. You might have a customer get irate and hate on you and everything you stand for but you still have to do your job, or be the parent to the screaming kid in a store, or figure out what to do when you’re stuck under fire or a dangerous situation. You can’t let adversity stop you from doing things that you have to get through and must get through. If you’re a soldier and shells are coming at you, you do what you have to do.
I’m sure if you’re reading this I’m sure you’ve had many of the above situations. Maybe you’ve had a passing in the family, or someone with cancer, or trying to figure out how to make the step transitioning to adulthood, or making rent, or just figuring out life. There’s no single solid answer but just everyday surviving and getting through the day, one day at a time. That’s how war survivors did it and that’s also how many people are. Trying to make it through life a day at a time.
Listening to Tai Lopez and his podcast he mentioned a soldier by the last name of Zamperini and how he survived World War II being stranded on a raft surrounded by sharks, no food, dehydration, and being shot at by enemy soldiers, and torture.
And with some of these things it made me, and us grateful that while we’ve had adversities that none of the larger ones have yet happened to us. And we’re grateful and all vulnerable to the hammer at any time. You can go through life worrying and panic stricken about some nameless shapeless horror dropping out of the sky or invading you, or you can be as prepared as you can and strong as you can and understand we’re all naked and bear to some extent and dependent on one another to get through life. We’re in this fabric and network of life.
You don’t have to escalate situations either but try to understand someone in their situation. An example is where we had a friend… Let’s call them L. L lost their job years ago and hasn’t been able to find work. And all of L’s friends have moved or gotten married or moved on from college years. L was worried about ID theft and stopped using phones as much. They hadn’t been able to buy their own house or afford to get a better job because they didn’t have money and didn’t have the skills or knowledge on going back to school or getting a scholarship and the parents who both spoke a different language and were somewhat traditional didn’t think another college degree was necessary. L’s computer skills got worse and didn’t keep up with the times and was ill equipped for some of the new jobs also as time went on. L’s diet suffered due to lack of money. L also had to move back with parents and had to deal with special needs family member and less time on themself and was a bit resentful that this other person got better treatment. L was a bit depressed and also had a falling out with a relative. One day, L was out shopping and eating and frustrated and got into an argument and security was called.
Now L wasn’t quite in the great state of mind already but all these things accumulated and in that moment things could have escalated further. But there were many steps along the way and things didn’t have to culminate. L could take a step to make the situation worse and argue or be mad. L could have also reached out to more family or made other friends or gotten in social groups. L could have looked farther for work. There’s a lot of things that can happen.
In the movies like the Joker they talk about “one bad day” or in contrast how Disney is always ending with happy ever after endings where good triumphs. But in real life black and white blur into gray. There is no one turning point in life for most people. There’s moments where you can make a choice to make things better or worse. And you always have a choice to escalate or de-escalate a situation in many cases.
In the above situation the security guard may have realized that L wasn’t in the right state of mind and there might also be a language barrier and called and reached out to family to see if maybe they could help out. We don’t know what else happened and hope things get better, but we just know that life is never a straight road to success and you will have roadblocks and obstacles, setbacks, downturns and somes even what you deem as failures or major embarrassments. You never have to feel that even if you hit rock bottom or a had a major humiliation that you yourself are unredeemable. We are not worthless and we’re not zeroes. We humans aren’t perfect and we aren’t designed to be perfect. We learn and experiment and find problems and then we find solutions. That’s how we become better. Because if we know there’s a better outcome out there, we can work to get that better outcome and there’s hope out there.
In a few weeks we have Thanksgiving to celebrate friends, family, creation and or brothers and sisters and our community. It’s not a lot when we think about how short life can be and how long time is. We make the best of this world on this spinning earth by coming together and communicating and bringing the best of ourselves to the world and the table and so even though we may be vulnerable and flawed and dependent individuals to the community, without one person there … it can make all the difference. Leaving one person or behind can ripple through the community. So be thankful that:
- You’re living a day where you can get up and look forward to a day.
- You’re living a relatively free life and can come and go as place and have relative freedom.
- That you can control how you want your day to progress
- That you have the freedom to access the Internet or read and not restricted
- You’re didn’t break any regs and not facing punishments
- You’re not shackled and having to take expensive prescriptions.
- You’re in relative good health and your limbs and digestive system work and eyes and ears.
Most of us are lucky that we are alive and that no one is out to get us and people trying to go after our reputation. To those that are in the limelight such as entertainers, celebs, YouTubers, influencers and others in public work that face call-out culture or harrassment or body shaming or critiques or other things every day, we’re sympathetic.
Life can change in an instant whether by accident or some random even you have no-control or full-control over. How your story ends all depends on how your next few minutes, hours, days, and weeks evolve and form. You can control your destiny. By even a few small changes of your wheel you can change the course your ship takes. Start now.
A few steps turn into miles. A different angle in how you plant the seed changes how the tree grows. Don’t let one bad day be an excuse for the rest of your life.